Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Pretty Dress

We were at Costco today, and the Easter dresses are out ALREADY.. We were with Layne who has two girls, so we had to go take a peek. Camden thought they were pretty and said that maybe we needed to get one for Kyndal. Layne was thoughtful and told Camden that she probably already has a pretty dress in heaven. I love how my boys keep thinking of her. I have always loved Easter.. the colors.. the springtime.. the message of the Resurrection.. Because Christ was resurrected, we too will be.. our spirits and bodies will be reunited. Kyndal will have a perfect body and I am sure will be wearing a pretty dress. Easter I am sure will be even more special to us now.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Moms make everything better

I am already teary as I write this entry. My mom suprised us from Wyoming and came for a week. I had called her the week before crying saying how out of control my kids are. Next thing I know she was here :) You can read more about it on our family blog.
We had a wonderful week. Just spending time with eachother. Her laughing and playing with my kids. We visited Kyndal's grave and she said our family prayer. She misses Kyndal too. I felt so blessed to have her here. We didnt have many plans for the week, but we sure had a great time. I think we ate and made every treat there was to think of.. including a homemade cherry pie. Aunt Bobi Jo's crust... yuuummmmm!!
I asked her if she would help me put Kyndal's things away. Her dresser and closet were still stuffed with pink and ruffles. It was a very hard thing to do as the drawers became empty. The closet had no more clothes in them. I left her little white and pink blanket hanging in the closet, cause I just couldnt have it all the way empty. I am so glad my mom was here to help me accomplish this task. I knew it would be a hard day, and actually the night before had dreamt about Kyndal. I havent even told anyone this. The dream is vague (sp?) but I remember during the dream knowing she was dead, but she was alive in the dream and wondering why everyone else wasnt as excited as I was that she was alive. Maybe a tender mercy from the Lord, knowing that day was going to be tough. We got through it, the tubs are still in her room that is now Case and Camdens bunk bed room. They sleep in random rooms at random times.
I got an email from a friend that we grew up with in our ward.. asking some questions about Kyndal and how I am so strong? I can only say it is the Lord and the peace of the gospel that makes me strong. It was nice to email her back explaining my feelings and maybe helping her a bit. Kyndals death has helped many, and I love talking about her.
I got a call from a great friend in Las Vegas who is waiting to adopt. I was touched by the things she told me, and hope Kyndal and this unborn baby are friends and soon will join thier family. The Lord loves each of us, and I am seeing that more and more as I am going through this journey.
We picked up Kyndal's death certificate and the audio CD's of her funeral services. We listened to them on the way to Chuckie Cheese's.( grandma's idea) It was nice to hear those sweet comments and talks again. A member of our Stake Pres. spoke at her funeral and did an amazing job. One thing that really sticks out is when he was talking to the boys.. and saying listen to the roar of the crowd.. your sister is watching you as you accomplish goals and grow up. I hope they always remember Kyndal. In our prayers, they mention her and its sweet to hear. Case is quick to remind us if we havent said her name in our prayer. Another thing he mentioned was that she is just as much a part of our family now as she was or would have been. She is watching us.. the things we say.. the activities we participate in.. She's just watching from above.
The words are comforting and I am sure will be for years to come. I hope I can do the things that would make her proud of us.