Thursday, April 22, 2010

Sweet brothers

Just a few thoughts...

Camden and Case got a helium balloon today, and always want to send it up to Kyndal in heaven. They thought about it, then changed their minds.. the thought was nice :)

We were watching the Walk for the cure TV ad the other day, and the lady talks about not having a choice if she was going to lose her mom or not.. Camden said " we lost Kyndal huh mom?". It was cute and thoughtful.

We were running errands the other day and were near the grave. We decided to make a quick stop. The boys love to gather pinecones, and see what other treasures people leave for their babies. I am thankful that they enjoy going and visiting Kyndals grave and that its not scary for them.

The weather was perfect today, and the clouds in the sky were white and puffy.. It made this momma happy.. and made me think of baby Kyndal.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

6 months.. half a year

Today Kyndal would be 6 months old. Wow time has really gone by quickly. As much as it has flown by we feel really blessed. The grief is still there, but comes in less. We still think about her daily. Even her brothers remind us about her. Today we had morning prayer on her rug that is in our room. Case was the one who mentioned the rug.. it was sweet.
At support group we were talking about how everyone is in different places of thier grief.. some just lost babies.. others it has been years.. the feelings never change.. but things get a little easier as time passes. I am finding that to be so true. Many others in the group are still so angry.. I am so grateful that I have never felt angry in this whole process. Some of these dads want to hurt people. Blades too has never felt angry about it. It has been life changing.. but now I have a piece of our family in Heaven waiting for us. It makes heaven seem a bit more real.. and close..

Time does some crazy things..

Monday, April 5, 2010

Easter Promises

" Our eyes may be moist with tears, but our hearts burn with the knowledge that the bands of death have been broken and that we will one day be reunited to share the
blessings of eternal life". Thomas S. Monson
This weekend we got to listen to General Conference and hear all the messages from the prophet and apostles. What a blessing. The messages were sweet. Many spoke of the Ressurection and how we will all be reunited ( our spirits and bodies) because of Jesus Christ.
The theme of conference to me seemed to be about family and making sure we are teaching our children about Jesus Christ. How we should take every opportunity to teach our children...
"tell me the stories of Jesus".
We had a wonderful Easter dinner with some great friends and thought of Kyndal all day. We got out the nice plates, tablecloths ... I wore her flower in my hair.. I can't imagine what it will be like when we will all see her again. I can't even imagine what it will be like.
How grateful I am that Easter brings a great promise. Through Jesus Christ I can live forever.. that's part of the free gift he gave to all of us.. immortality.. It's only through Him that I can be forgiven and be worthy to return to my Father in Heaven.. and live forever with my entire family including baby Kyndal. For now I pray that others are taking care of her.. Grandma's, Aunts, cousins, friends.. I wonder what Easter is like in heaven? I hope they celebrate.. or atleast watch us celebrating and laugh at us hiding eggs in the night for our little ones to find at the crack of dawn..
I've always loved Easter.. the colors, flowers, candy and the spring in the air.. How much more special it is now to our family. A day to celebrate Christ's Resurrection.
I taught the combined YW lesson last week about Easter. I talked about Kyndal and of course bawled. I enjoyed sharing the message with these sweet 12-18 year olds. I hope they felt the Spirit and learned something new about the Atonement.
Tonight is support group. I always look forward to it.
In 3 days, Kyndal would be 6 months old. Time is crazy.. could that really be?