Christmas

Christmas is a few days away and we went last week to Kyndal's grave to leave her a little tree. I've had this in my holiday decorations for a few year, and it ended up being perfect. It's supposed to be a Christmas card holder, but we added a few bows and a few ornaments that were on the kids' tree and had a fun time leaving it for Kyndal. The cemetary has a tree in their lobby and we were told that we could make an ornament and place it on their tree. The kids enjoyed making it for her. The boys are behaving better and better each time we go. We have family prayer while we are there. We always feel Kyndal close.
With Christmas only a few days away, I am finding myself getting more nervous about being happy on that day. I took the kids out tonight to get a few stocking stuffers, and look at Christmas lights and balled on the way home. Blades is working late tonight, and I feel like we havent spent much time together doing Christmasy things. I am trying to do all the traditions to make it fun for the kids, but Im just not feeling that into it. We are going to temple lights tomorrow and I hope to feel more into it then. In Sunday School on Sunday, there was a baby in front of us that had a huge flower and hairband in her hair. I couldnt help but think of Kyndal. In Young Women's we did a program for the girls. I helped sing one of the songs. Us leaders sat at the front, and during one of the speaking parts, a friend reached over and touched the bracelets that are pink that are Kyndals. Kyndal is wearing the same ones. I have two of them. It made the tears flow and wouldnt stop. The girls probably think I am nuts, crying like that, but I hope that I will be able to serve these girls and somehow help them in their lives. Maybe Kyndal will be able to help me too. We had family home evening this morning before Blades left for work. We are really trying to teach the kids the true meaning of Christmas. I hope they know how important the Savior is to us. How special a time we get to celebrate His birth. I miss my baby tonight, and wish she were here to snuggle. Grandma's, Aunts and friends are hopefully snuggling us for her up in heaven. We hope you find this season a happy one. We have had some ornaments given to us by friends.. little white booties with a pink bow.. the letter "K" , an angel and a picture frame. We appreciate that others are thinking of Kyndal too at this time.
Merry Christmas! Blades and the boys at Kyndals grave..

Mom and the boys

the boys decorating the tree for Kyndal

the ornament the kids decorated.. there are stickers on the other side of it :)

Case placing the ornament on the tree at the cemetary.

Kyndal, Camden and Case

Our kids