Valentines Day was yesterday, and your dad got me some white roses and set them in a vase in the kitchen when he was home, and I was out with your brothers. It was one of the vases from the many beautiful flowers that were sent to us when you passed away. I walked by them and smelled them. I love the smell of flowers, especially roses, and it had a new smell and new memories when I smelled them this time. I thought of you. I told your dad I didnt think that I would ever smell flowers again and not think of you. When we were in the hospital, nurses and visitors would come in and they would all comment about how pretty the flowers were and commented on how pretty it smelled in our room.
I wore the pink gerber daisy yesterday to church on my dress. It makes me happy when I see it. I can still picture it overwhelming your little head, but every girl has to have a big flower on a headband.. or atleast you were going to.. :)
The kids noticed the flower on me too, and I told them it was Kyndals flower. A friend at church commented on the flower too, and I said it was yours.. She said she thought so... Dad said he tried to find gerber daisies instead of roses, but couldnt find any. He is so thoughtful.
Aunt Joan called today and wondered how I am doing. She wanted me to know that she was thinking of me, and wanted to tell me she loved me. It was a wonderful phone call. She has meant alot to me over the years. Her and Uncle Nick always set such an example to me when I was growing up. She wanted to tell me her heart breaks for us.. They too lost a daughter. Sydney was struck by lightning when she was a Junior in HS. My mom was pregnant with me, so it has been 32 years, but the feelings are still real. I love hearing stories about Sydney and how it brought their family close after the accident. I told Aunt Joan I feel so blessed. Priorities and life changes once you lose a child. The big things matter now like life after death, and we cant wait to see Kyndal again. It was nice break in the middle of my day to think about you. I love you baby!
Here is just one of the many arrangements that were sent.
Kyndal being held by her Grandmother Dill with the big flower
What a sweet letter!! I love that last picture...she is so cute and the bow is adorable! i saw your flower at church too and thought of Kyndal. I love that just seeing you wear a pink flower is such a huge reminder of your baby girl. You are so lucky to have an aunt who has gone through losing a child and can tell you even 32 years later that her heart still aches for her child.. i cant even wrap my brain around all the people that are waiting to be with loved ones again and seriously how incredible that day will be..
ReplyDeletelove you!!
I am in tears. You are so strong and so blessed and Kyndal is so beautiful. <3
ReplyDeleteThis blog is amazing Cori!! I bet it helps to have a place to write down all your feelings. I think of you often.
ReplyDeleteCarrie Ü