Today I feel supported. It's quite the word. It means so many things. I have felt the support from family, friends, the Lord , ward members, and a new group that I met last night. I was worried about attending not knowing what to expect from a bereavement infant loss support group provided at the hospital. It's on the first Monday of the month, and I always seem to miss it when my mind would think about going. Well I made it last night, along with two great friends. Anabel and Vicky came with me. Blades had to work last night, so I knew I didnt want to go alone. I even called the hospital and asked what I should expect. I was nervous. Was I ready to share my story of Kyndal with strangers? I felt brave and walked in. We all introduced ourselves and could share whatever about our babies that we wanted to. There were others there that too had stillborn children, some genetic disorders, some miscarriages. All attending had some sort of loss. I was alot more emotional than I thought I would be. Just hearing other peoples stories helped me feel like I was not the only one feeling the way I was feeling. Some were angry with the hospital, dr's, and some were angry with God. It bugged me, but I had to realize I am blessed to have the gospel in my life. I know God would not do this to me, or Kyndal. It's amazing the peace that the gospel brings and that the word "angry" was not something I feel. We also talked about the things some people say to those who have lost someone. Most people don't know what to say.. and that's ok...
Don't "should" yourself, and don't let others " should" on you.. (If you say it outloud it sounds almost like a bad word.)
It was a great night. I came home and told Blades about it. We hope to make it together next month. We stopped at In and Out Burger on the way home.. YUM!
So Thanks for the support that you have given our family. I hope to be able to support others like they have supported us.
We even shared pictures of our babies with eachother. Of course everyone thought Kyndal was adorable :) They are right
i commented a while ago and its not here... hmm??
ReplyDeleteim so glad you went to that! what an awesome thing the hospital has set up! its amazing what listening to others stories and sharing your own can do to help ease pieces of heartache! grief is never easy but the gospel brings soo much comfort that definitly lightens the burden.. i cant imagine how miserable it would be to not have the gospel in your life while going through the death process! Let me know if you ever need me to watch the boys so you and Blades can go together!
AND kyndal is definitly adorable!! :)
You are very right about the emotions people feel. I too have never felt anger. Never. Since Adam and I have been married we have had 5 losses very early in pregnancy. Some people say that it's not fair and I just can't agree with that. God does everything for a reason. You were immensely blessed to hold Kyndal in your arms and get photo's of her. I know you will keep them close to your heart always. What an enormous comfort and blessing.
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