Sunday, September 26, 2010

a teary day

1. A sunday school lesson where we were asked to share a scripture that has touched us lately. I shared 3 nephi 11.. when Christ comes to visit the people here and blesses the children one by one.. and that how the things that were felt and seen couldnt be written down.. because there were no words for it.. ( i'm paraphrasing here )
It was a chapter that Blades and I read in the hospital after Kyndal had died. It gave us comfort. What a blessing that we could turn to the scriptures and find peace during a difficult time..
While sharing this experience I couldnt help but bawl.. There I sit next to some great friends who have meant alot and helped us tremendously through this.. Bishop Bourgeous came up to me afterwards with tears in his eyes and expressed how much he appreciated sharing her story with the class. ( he was there and our first visitor at the hospital)
He said that there would be many more times when we would be able to share this with others.

2. An email from a cousin that included sweet words about Kyndal and our family. It is great to get unexpected notes from loved ones that mention our experience. I appreciate it. and love talking about Kyndal.

3. The word "year" is getting closer. I'm a bit worried about "the day".. but we are having a Kyndal celebration on the 8th at her gravesite. We wanted to do something, but not a party.. We will release balloons, and have cookies and punch.

I wrote in the kids' journals today. I try to do it atleast once a month. I will go now and look at her pictures and books. I will be more teary, but it feels good. At support group the counselor said grief tears are chemically different than any other tears. That has always stuck with me, and I remember crying is ok. It's tough when the kids come up to me and ask if I am happy or sad.. It makes me cry more..

We were driving by a bridge today and Camden said if it broke and we fell down there he would get a rope, climb up and rescue me, dad, case and Kyndal if she was here. It was sweet. I am so glad they remember their sister.

1 comment:

  1. Cory,
    I have said this many times to you. I remember the day well. It was soooo very hard for me to organize this funeral luncheon. Of course with the great friends that you have in this ward they all helped. When it was all over I just couldn't leave the day behind. I felt I need to stay just to watch you and your closest friends and family. To make sure you didn't need anything. I wanted nothing but to comfort you and them. I especially remember watching you leaning over her cute little angelic casket. You were alone and wanting her to sleep so beautiful. It was a tender moment for me to see such a beautiful person that you are taking care of her baby girl. The spirit was strong and could be felt. I will always admire you. I too will release a ballon for her on October 8th..all the way from California... I love you more than you know.

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